Proverbs 18:24

William F. Schnell

November 23, 2008

   In 1968 Dr. Spenser Silver, a scientist at 3M, developed a low-tack adhesive that went nowhere despite 5 years of his promotional seminars.  In 1974, a colleague of his, Art Fry, became frustrated while singing in the church choir because his bookmarks kept falling out of his hymnal.   While listening to a sermon he had a brilliant idea which, one would hope, had something to do with the sermon.  Why not use Dr. Spenser’s adhesive on a slip of paper?

   That is how Post-It Notes got their start and 3M made a killing selling them.  In 1990 the patent expired and everyone got in on the act.  From the original 3-inch square canary yellow Post-It Notes we now have generic sticky notes in myriad shapes, sizes, colors, strength of adhesive and even computer generated sticky varieties.  There are now artists who specialize in sticky note art.  I just borrowed a DVD movie from Brady & Julie Krebs that features a character on the box covered head to toe in sticky notes. 

   Some things just go together.  Apparently low-tack adhesive and paper notes are among them.  Some people just go together as well.  They stick with one another through thick and thin.  They are called “friends.”  Jesus called us his friends, and in awhile we are going to sing a hymn, "What a Friend we Have in Jesus."  There is something of the divine in friendship, whether it is our friendship with Jesus or our friendships with one another.

   A beautiful statement about friendship in the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes ends with this statement: A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  True friendship between two people is a strong cord that includes a third strand, which is the Lord Almighty.  As you depart from worship today we have a gift for you, in addition to the gift our friends are receiving at Coffee Hour on this “Honor-A-Friend Sunday.”  It is a tablet of sticky notes with three puzzle pieces linked together.  The middle puzzle piece is in the form of a cross, and the caption reads: “Connecting Through Christ.”

   The title of our message is “Stickin.”  It is also the title of a book by James Carvel, one half of that famous political odd couple that includes Mary Matalin.  Mary has served as a political consultant for President George W. Bush.  James Carvel has served in the same role for former President Bill Clinton, indeed, was the lead strategist for Bill Clinton’s first presidential campaign.  When former President Clinton was in the throes of impeachment proceedings, and many of his former allies were deserting him, James Carvel published his book, Stickin': The Case for Loyalty.

   I have not read the book, but I have read about the book.  It is apparently filled with partisan political preaching, which will appeal to some and not to others.  But it is also, as the title says, a case for loyalty regardless of political persuasion.  It is about stickin’ with your friends through thick and thin, in good times and bad, when they foul up and when they try to get back up.  As the saying goes, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”  Isn’t that the kind of friend we have in Jesus?  Isn’t that the kind of friendship we look for in others?  Isn’t that the kind of friend Jesus wants us to be to others?  Today we are going to celebrate that kind of sticky friendship. 

   Our text for this morning is a single verse from the book of Proverbs: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (18:24).  The New Revised Standard Version in your pew racks puts it this way: Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one's nearest kin.  It might help if we speak today in terms of “friends” in quotes, and friends without quotes—so-called friends and true friends. 

   Another name for so-called “friends” is fair-weather friends.  Fair-weather friends are friends so long as it is blue skies and sunny weather.  They associate us with good times.  They like us for what we can do for them.  But when the weather turns overcast, as it will sometimes do, and the storm clouds gather and the times are not-so-good and there is not much we can do about it, then our fair-weather “friends” somehow never get around to returning our calls. 

   Woe to those whose fair-weather friends abandon them in need, who have no true friends in need.  As our text says, A man of many such fair-weather friends may come to ruin because there is none to help when the going gets tough.  Sometimes we never know who our real friends are until times of trial.  As Euripides put it in the fifth century B.C.E., and as quoted at the top of our bulletin: “Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends.” 

   Only in times of trouble do we discover who is committed to stickin’ with us.  As the author of out text puts it …there is a friend who sticks… who may stick even when our own family members forsake us.  I think this is a very important message for us to hear during this season of grave economic uncertainty as the problems on Wall Street are starting to be felt on Main Street.  More and more calls are reaching the church office about lost jobs and lost income and lost houses.   

   This is one time when I can say that in some measure I know what you are going through.  I graduated from seminary in 1981.  Do you remember 1981?  Do you remember “stagflation”—a stagnant economy coupled with severe inflation?  Businesses tighten their belts during stagflation.  Hiring is put on hold, as I painfully learned.  For as a true Community Church seminarian, I had no denominational affiliation, and therefore no Bishop to find me a church.   In other words, I had bills for two graduate degrees and no work.

   So I moved into a dive on OSU’s campus with my sister.  She was a waitress at the time and, with her encouragement, I finally landed a job as a waiter.  One day an old girlfriend, who got so tired of waiting for me that she married a well-to-do friend of mine, showed up with a table full of other well-to-do girlfriends.  Her eyes about popped out of her head when I came to her table.  “What are you doing here?” she asked.  It was an excellent question because I was definitely not built to be a waiter.

   I couldn’t figure out what all the hurry was about, and why everyone was so stressed.  I think I coined the term, “Chill out,” way back then.  But everybody loved me.  That is exactly what the manager said when he fired me.   “Everybody loves you, but I have to let you go.  It’s nice to be loved, but it’s nicer to be loved with a paycheck.  Pretty soon I owed my sister $600 (might as well been 6 million), and when she relocated to Florida I had no way to pay the rent.  My only option was to move back home… with my parents… again… at 28 years of age.

   A friend from college offered his van and his help to move me home.  I must have presented a pretty sad picture because, in a moment of weakness, he said: “Why don’t you come live with my family and you can help me remodel farm houses.”  He wasn’t doing all that great either, job-wise, and he had a wife and twin 2 year olds to support.  It wasn’t fair to say yes, but I did.  So instead of driving me and my stuff to my parents, we headed for his rented home in Delaware.

   I tried to make my self useful, washing the dishes after every meal they provided and babysitting their kids so they could have some free time.  I also tried to leave after a month or so.  I went to temporarily help out at a Methodist church in east Ohio when my friend’s wife called.  “You aren’t coming back are you?” She said.  I told her that I had already intruded beyond measure.  This time she was the one who asked me to stay with them, and so I did through that fall and winter and spring.

   I have very fond memories of that very difficult time: being wakened in the morning by the twins prying my eyelids open with their fingers, making buckwheat pancakes for breakfast, going to church on Sunday mornings, listening to music while hanging drywall and paying off my sister.   There are redeeming things about those tough times, and the best of them all is discovering our sticky friends—the friends who stick with us when through thick and thin.  As hard as it was, I am glad I experienced that difficult time.  It has made my life richer.

   It is amazing how fast everything can go wrong in this life, but it is also amazing how fast everything can go right too.  I got a call to help out a church that needed a pastor, I got offered the job, I married one of its members and I went from being homeless to being a homeowner (I “married up”)—all in the course of a year.  The rest, as they say, is history.  Last year I celebrated the marriage of one of those twins.  Last month Nancy and I stayed overnight with our friends—our friends in need—our sticky friends.

 

   Today is “Honor-A-Friend” Sunday at The Church in Aurora.  My sticky friends cannot be here because of health concerns and driving distances, but they will get a copy of this sermon.  Nancy has invited Daniel White because he helped out in the kitchen during Nutcracker Sweets!  For Nancy, that makes Daniel a friend in need BIG TIME.  If you are a friend visiting with someone today, we are celebrating you!  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, we are thanking God for you.  And we are seeking to be more than fair-weather friends to those God has given us to love.  We are seeking to be sticky friends.

   In that spirit let us offer together a Litany of Friendship—a litany of quotations about friendship from Aristotle to M. Scott Peck.  After I read each quotation, I will lift my hands and the congregation will respond: “Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.”

A Litany of Friendship

Leader: A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become and still gently invites you to grow.

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: Insomuch as anyone pushes you nearer to God, he or she is your friend.

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: The impulse of love that leads us to the doorway of a friend is the voice of God within.  Agnes Sanford

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: What is a friend?  A single soul dwelling in two bodies.  Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: When a friend dies, part of you dies too.  John Irvine

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: The comfort of having a friend may be taken away, but not that of having had one.  Lucius Annaeus Seneca (C. 4 B.C.-A.D. 65)

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: Often the most loving thing we can do when a friend is in pain is to share the pain--to be there even when we have nothing to offer except our presence and even when being there is painful to ourselves.  M. Scott Peck

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

There are those who pass like ships in the night.

Who meet for a moment, then sail out of sight

With never a backward glance of regret;

Folks we know briefly then quickly forget.

Then there are friends who sail together

Through quiet waters and stormy weather

Helping each other through joy and through strife.

And they are the kind who give meaning to life.

People: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.

Leader: Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of friends.  Thank you for calling us your friends.  Thank you for showing us what it means to be a faithful friend by laying down your life for us.  In your name we pray, amen.